She came about two months after our first mail conversation.
In the weeks before her arrival, we talked a lot via videochat about the shoots we wanted to do. About our ways of working, what we wanted to do, what were no-gos. We had a mutual understanding of the way we wanted to shoot and what kind of stories we wanted to shoot. After a few calls, my girlfriend joined the conversations and since both women immediately liked each other, we broadened the scope of our plans. When we finished our lists with everything we talked about so far, it was so long that we could do it all at one day or even a weekend.
I had nearly finished my renovations except some smaller tasks that could wait. So, we had a big house with many rooms we could use as shooting sets. Accordingly, we invited her to my house in the Quartier d'Auteuil to stay for a week.
We picked her up at the main station by car and when we headed home, we both realised that she was much louder and gigglier than during our videocalls. Maybe she was nervous because after all the talks we finally met each other, and it was really happening.
Back at my house we showed her to her guest room and gave her some space and time to settle in and freshen up. After that we started her visit with dinner. I served a tilapia with an almond crackling, chili-raisins-spinach and mashed potatoes. The leading thought was to break the ice with a relaxed and nice dinner. Talking via videocall and talking face to face are two very different animals.
But obviously, our guest had a different opinion about that. Before she even took a single bite she already asked, when we would start filming. Her wine glass was already nearly empty at that moment. Irritated by that lack of patience, I told her that there is no need to rush, and we had all week for a lot of different scenes. She responded that she was eager to do the first scene, because I was much more attractive face to face than she imagined, while scratching off the almond crackling.
My girlfriend glanced at me; I could see her surprise and saw a shadow of dislike sliding over her features.
Over the course of dinner, it became apparent that our guest was not nervous, she had no patience at all. Every time we tried to give impulses to lead the conversation to various topics, she always came back to the scenes and when we would start shooting. She drank more wine than my girlfriend and me combined. My girlfriend slowly started to become annoyed.
Sure, we both knew what the main purpose of the meeting with our visitor was. Nevertheless, we preferred to be able to talk to someone who was some sort of a colleague about everyday stuff as well. Even if sex was the main thing of our business association, it didn’t need to be the only talking point.
Our guest’s behaviour was quite different to our videocalls, so we were quite surprised by it. When we finished dinner, my girlfriend and me cleared away the dishes while our guest was pouring herself another glass of wine. Back in the kitchen, we decided to go along with a first shooting in hopes of that she would be less impatient after that. So, I invited our guest into the living room where we started to do a scene. But it was quite short because she had too much wine and nearly fell asleep.
I didn’t get better over the next two days. Quite the contrary, everything she was able to talk about was sex. Were our scenes. Were our interactions in front of the camera.
At first, it was annoying. Now it was exhausting as well. And for my girlfriend it became disappointing. Not only was our visitor praising and openly flirting with me, but even in scenes where we all three interacted with one another, she concentrated noticeably on me. My girlfriend felt neglected. When she turned her attention to her, it was rather listless and half-hearted. One of the scenes we had planned was a lesbian scene of them. At first, she tried to convince us not to do it. When she agreed to do it, she leaned back and let my girlfriend french her. She didn’t really reciprocate, so my girlfriend had to fake her climax. She struggled to conceal her anger.
This collaboration turned out to be completely different to what we had hoped for. We wanted it to be fun – for everyone involved. But after two days, the only one who enjoyed herself was our visitor.
But the final straw was, when she suggested – while my girlfriend was in the bathroom – that I should work with her fulltime and not with my girlfriend.
I just gave her a vague response and when my girlfriend came back out of the bathroom, I took her aside and told her about the proposition. That was when we decided to end our guests visit and to disinvite her.
When we told her about and how we had perceived the last few days, she got angry. She started to accuse us of pressuring her to do things she didn’t want to do. Our argument that we only suggested things we talked about beforehand were ignored. While my girlfriend became angry as well, I terminated the discussion at that point and told her frankly to leave. And that none of us will ever be able to use the recorded scenes because I will delete them.
An hour later she sat in a taxi headed for the main station and she was gone.
Later that evening my girlfriend was still upset and in a bad mood. She impulsively decided never to collaborate with another female streamer again. I tried to comfort her, even though I could understand her reaction and the thoughts who lead to it. Our visitor’s fixation on me and ignorance against my girlfriend had made me feel uncomfortable. But I wasn’t against any future collaboration in general, just against working with this explicitly streamer.
She calmed down by the time we went to bed. Laying there, she thanked me for my patience and told me, she appreciated how I had tried to involve her during the scenes where our visitor had neglected her, and that I had told her about the proposition to dump her and work with the other streamer.
While talking about the last few days and processing it together, we realised that we have grown into a much stabler relationship than both of us had expected. The most important thing for us was doing it together – streaming, enjoying meeting new people from the streaming community. And living together our everyday life.
That night she told me for the first time she loved me.
I told her so as well.